Lost in Translation

Last week I decided to be brave and joined an online dating site. I've spent a few days poking around the site and felt generally inspired. Reading profiles is a entertaining and dangerous way to pass time. There was one profile that I couldn't help but linger over. The profile started normal: general likes and dislikes, background, what he's looking for, etc. He ended with this, saying "now for some humor:"

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. is
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes.
No sense two people remembering the same thing

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Tip to guys creating profiles out there, sexist jokes aren't really that likely to make the ladies want to date you. Or at least not this lady.